i turn twenty six very very soon. five days. i am odd about birthdays. i love them. i love all holidays. and cupcakes. and presents. and drinks and laughter and ridiculousness. but this birthday is odd for some reason. i feel old i think and i have never really felt that. memories are beginning to fog over and i find that terrifying. i was only twenty-one when i was in portland. it seems so recent but so distant at the same time. portland changed my life. it is as straight and narrow as that. but it is odd to be so past those life changing moments yet. still. sorta. there. i was just thinking that it would be so nice to have a person to tell those stories to that nobody actually cares about but you. those memories that are so precious but nobody will ever get it in the same way as you. i guess that is kinda what blogging is for. oh jeez....blogging makes me emo as all hell....

remember...

the mint green house with the purple shutters....

the box car in the backyard....

the boy who talked about the castle in prague....

the vegan scones from pearl bakery....

the delivery boy from pearl bakery....

the blackberries....

stumptown lattes with hearts and a side of limonata....

slabtown....

hip hop the bunny....

the roller skating rink with the organ...

the simplest things are so easily forgotten yet so amazing...

it is several days into the new year. nothing has changed. i think i really believe each year that it might but it does not. i never make resolutions. i think about things that i hope might be different but never laid out in ways or actions that i might take to see that happen.

tonight i sat and drank bottles of wine with a dear friend. i am home now and maude is curled up next to me. she is wondering why the light is still on and i am not focused in our snuggle. if i have any kind of resolution this year then it is probably to get back into this habit. we will see if this happens. it is probably more likely than my thoughts of using the new workout facilities at my job. way more likely.

new years eve was fine. i spent the pre midnight time with some good friends and then some newer but very sweet friends. i have learned not to wait around for the manfriend to pick me up so i had headed to a party in the neighborhood. it was a good thing. it was nearing eleven thirty when he picked me up. we headed to his friends house where i walked in the door and imediately lost any personality i once had. i have realized i have this rare form of shyness that makes me incredibly boring around new people. i cannot think of anything intereseting to say, pose, or ask. i think i make others utterl boring around me as well. at least the manfriend's friends. it was a good night still. somehow. a lot of scotch.

that is enough. relearning how to blog is interesting. i signed up for twitter too. year of the internets i guess......